12/14: statements and logic

assuming that your not in law school or are studying philosophy...

have you ever come across practical logic?

maybe it was in a book you were reading or someone was telling you all the crazy stuff they learned the other day from their philosophy teacher.

so practical logic...it usually sounds funny, looks funny, makes no sense- basically it goes against everything modern english has shoved into our brains, but...there's something about it that pretty much boils down to the truth.

but not just any truth- "logical" truth.

i took an argumentation class once. it was suppose to fulfill one of my gen-eds, but apparently it didn't count for a qualitative and formal reasoning credit, so i had to take logic of arithmetic, which was pretty much the same thing.

two times learning that shit and guess what...i still don't get it.

so i wont be here to tell you logical truth, what assumptions are, if p actually equals q, or what really makes a good or bad argument. pheww.

i guess the reason why i never understood this whole "logic" idea is because there are some things that just cannot be defined by logic, they can only be defined by what you make of them (and because p certainly DOES NOT equal q)

in my argumentation class junior year and i got to this statement in my book. i seriously don't remember the entire sentence, but it read.....something, something..."figure it out and ask for it"

apparently the rest of the sentence was a huge red flag for fallacies but i missed it.

i probably messed with that sentence for an hour- mixing the words around until the sentence was "logical"

on hour 2 i said fuck it and came up with this...

[sentence]..."figure out what you want, and learn how to ask for it"

funny- the statement itself seems logical. not word part specific or whatever, but actually real life practical. logic?

go figure, i get it wrong- only to find out that exact same sentence was in a movie i was watching this past weekend. so im telling myself that if it's in a reese witherspoon movie then its fine.

that statement wasn't all that logically wrong. maybe not to the qualifications of my argumentation theory teacher- but that statement has practical, real life logic.

im almost certain that you've heard this statement before...let the chips fall where they may?

well, seems to me that lately the people i know- not excluding myself on this one at all...they're chips seem to be hurled into space. they don't fall, but they don't land. 

un-logical?

you know what the problem with people in these situations is?

they don't know what they want.

-even if they did know what they wanted, they don't know how to ask for it.

it seems so logical that if you figure out what you want and you learn how to ask for it- things in life would be ten times easier, right?

so why is it that people don't do it?

i wish i knew.

last night i owned up to this little bit of logic that i think to be correct. i knew what i wanted. it wasn't something big, not necessarily small either (hell- it could have been a candy bar) but i knew what i wanted. step one complete. then i asked for it.

here the logical red flag im sure that goes off in your head...how to ask for it?

tricky. this is where most people fail. and when i mean fail, they fail miserably.

obviously every situation, person, event, candy bar is different- so asking for it will vary. do you take a subtle approach? vigorous? caring? hostile? do you ask it in a letter? an email? in person? a text? face to face? over the phone? is it direct? or is it obscure?

nonetheless, you find a way to get what you want. if whatever it is doesn't come to you right away, or down the road...you know what you want and you are trying to find ways to get it.

but what if you cant do anything about it? well, that's not an option.

of course you can. eventually you have to learn to surrender to this unknown chain of events that happen in life.  if you don't you become one of the cowards of the world who will leave it at knowing exactly what they want and not doing anything about it.

if asking for what you want scares you- don't let it. its unnecessary to play down your eccentricities. you set your own expectations, so what people expect shouldn't be a reason.

i wish my teacher could see that little bit of logic i had in figuring out what you want and learning how to ask for it. because if you know what you want and you find a way to ask for it- then you are likely speaking the truth.

you don't beat around the bush and there are no fallacies. its simply just the truth. (logic- eh!)

figure out what you want and learn how to ask for it.

that's my C+ average logical advice to all those people out there with floating chips in space, for those truth-seekers and those people who are still trying to bridge the gap of asking for what it is they want.

do it and see what happens. the big things in life will iron themselves out eventually. that is all.

12/3: being 10

remember back when you were 10?

no. what was that...3rd grade?

if you forgot, here are the few words you can probably associate with being 10 years old to get that image back in your head:

double digits. "yay high". kid. awkward. disney channel. limited too. crazy bones. roller blades. space jam. four eyes. lockers. mambo #5.  I-SATS. jell pens. annoying. pony-tails. recess. pokemon cards. the giver. conniving. heads-up seven-up.

all that summed up...why would you ever want to remember when you were 10?

what? no past regrets of trading your charmander card for poneta?

or spending your allowance money on dr. pepper flavored smuckers chapstick?

...maybe it was watching the boy next to draw stick figures that were always battling each other?

making mix-tapes from the radio?

no, of course not- it was definitely rocking out to your first CD ever...Smashmouth.

is it just me, or was 10 just as memorable as years 8-12? you know you lived it, you remember the trends, fads, the kids you liked, your friends, the lunch room, it was all fine and dandy...but you just cant pin-point exactly what you were like or what your motives were at that age.

as much as i didn't really want to re-live being 10 years old- the kid i babysit for made me (that and the $20 cash an hour was enough of a reason to do it)

so friday night i was set to babysit. normally its the good-ole make the kid some dinner, watch a movie, put her to bed, raid the fridge and watch tv until you see lights pull into the driveway. then make it look like you've been reading and the kid went to bed 2 hrs ago instead of 20 mins ago.

but this babysitting trip it was a little different. there was a christmas walk in town and dinner on friday nights was always at Jade Dragon.

(okay...free meal, and being outside, $20 an hr- cool)

we get there and immediately im thinking "get me some egg rolls- im starving!"

the town was packed. everyone had a dog and about 2 kids each. the parents were holding their dogs and drinking but their kids were out terrorizing the main street.

the ice sculptures had been carved and were starting to form large puddles in the street. the kid's train was being driven by a very large, old man while a midget dressed as a conductor was loading kids into the wagons. 

the D.A.R.E. cops all had on these old-school uniforms that looked like something out of a black and white movie. and all the high-school kids (letter-mans jackets in all) went up to them at intervals through out the night to get their two-cent jokes in before driving off to some one's friday night basement party because their parents were out.

oh and Radio Disney AM 1300 was there with 100 girls, probably ages 7-11 huddled around the fence like a would-be justin bieber concert while the parents hung around in the back sipping on their spiked cider. lucky for me- it happened to be right across the chinese place.

here i am, thinking the plan..."lets go get food first and then walk around" 

"no, i need to find someone!!"  (shutdown)

"who do you need to find? theres a line- don't you want egg rolls?"

"i just...need to find someone- lets go"

clearly this kid was on the hunt for someone. i let her drag me in zig-zags through the main street- passing the chinese place 5 times praying she gets hungry so i can eat while also justifying the reason im being dragged around because im "a cool babysitter"

"who are you looking for?"

"just this kid- common"

im taken by the hand and submerged in the justin bieber crowd of 10 year olds all jumping up and down to the Phineus and Ferb theme song being broadcasted from downtown hinsdale via radio disney.

kids these days- they love that show. and you know who else they love- one direction. anyway.

three girls- maybe in their 20s with microphones and high-pitched voices are leading the crowd- "okay, so you know will smith?" "YEAHHHH!" "do you know his daughter Willow?" YEAHHHH!" "can you tell me what willows song is?? that's right, "whip your hair back and forth"!! now, who is ready to whip their hair back and forth? parents? raise your hand high!" 

(4 parents are voluenteered by their kids)

im dead center, in 10 year old heaven- towering over these kids, i am shoved by the kid im babysitting into the "volunteered parents" group.

confused and trying to run out of the group, the radio disney girl takes my hand and brings me up (the parents look at me like im some sort of teen-mom)

"lets here it for the parents!!!!! now, who's ready to whip their hair back and forth???"

after stating our names and what we like to do for fun- we (Kathy, Chad, Donna, Karen, and I) were told to start whipping our hair to the entire song while all the kids were screaming and cheering us on.

ive been embarrassed before. but this 100% took the cake. i had managed to make it onto radio disney on a friday night at 9pm, whipping my hair, back and forth to a willow smith song...how?

thank god Chad took away the show with his buzz-cut so i could get the hell out of there.

"okay, who is this kid- im hungry and you just forced me to go up there- you owe me."

"his name is Matt"

(are you kidding me!!! i walked around town for 45 mins, whipped my hair back and forth to a crowd of 100 kids and parents that i probably work with, and i haven't eaten since 2- all. for. a. boy!!!)

"but i cant find him, so lets just go get food"

she looked pretty disappointed- like all this searching was pointless. i put aside my horrible radio disney experience and my extreme need for food. i thought for a second as i watched a christmas tree dance to the final song of the radio broadcast...

"no- we are finding this kid!"

there is was- the 10 year old motive...getting a boy to notice you. surrounded by the 10 year old determination to find him.

i thought back to being 10- i was the same way. i would have done anything to get the kid i had a crush on to talk to me.

we walked around for 20 more minutes. searching everything from the kids train to the ice sculptures. on the 8th trip past Jade Dragon i put our names in for a table and sure enough- who walks out as we're walking in- the kid named Matt.

shell-shocked and starry-eyed...all she said was "hi" and he smiled back...

and that was being 10 years old.

i guess there are some ages that you forget about. but when you get to experience them now- they're pretty funny. because really, when you were 10 years old...all you wanted was to be noticed and if you did it, you walked away with nothing more than a smile. simple as that.

but please, dont relive them like i did- because you'll end up on radio disney with a free one direction poster and a horrible case of food poising from those fucking egg rolls that you waited all night for.

but- you will be the "coolest babysitter ever"

that's is all.