every time i hit up the doctors office its usually around the holiday. how do i remember this? well- there's always some sort of stick-ons stamped across the office and windows for the respected holiday.
so last night i walk into the waiting room. there was a swarm of hearts on the walls, cupids dangling from the ceiling and the receptionist writing with a fuzzy heart pen. next to her was the bowl of flu-infested pink and red m&ms with the saying "be mine" and "i love you"
i actually felt like i was about to enter the tunnel of love at the carnival. check-in was purchasing my solo ticket for the love boat.
its not a pediatrician i assure you, and definitely not some therapy secession- but every time i go to see this guy- he always asks "so any boyfriend?" (exactly like that...)... "no"
not kidding- months of saying "no" has left me wondering why in the hell you would keep asking, but.. "no there are no men in the suburbs." by now i go into this thing like "yeah doc no boyfriend" already prepared.
"well, make sure you find someone to buy you dinner on valentines day"
(can you say...thanks?)
"okay"
i cant even get a solo ticket into the love tunnel this year. im flying completely solo this time around. usually that find-someone-to-buy-you-dinner plan would have worked if my dad wasn't dating anyone so i could at least get a card and a pack of chewy sprees out of it
i mean ive only "celebrated" two valentines days anyways- so i cant talk much.
..the carnation on the table of a Culvers over a butter-burger and frozen custard was definitely a keeper.
i could tell the receptionist was excited for valentines day because of the pen, but she also had the radio playing 80s love songs on love.fm (nothing like an 80s slow jam to rock in the holiday)
what is peoples obsession with this holiday anyway?
i only like to think that if your in a relationship you like the holiday, if not- you hate it.
but lets be honest- a racist free month sure hates on the single people.
you take all the single people and screw them over for a day. because really- to actually "celebrate" valentines day the way we see it these days- you cant do it without some significant "other"
what happened to the days when we all made boxes and spent the entire night deciding which of the terrible cards were left over at walgreens you wanted to give to your crush the next day? those ones you spent all night signing your name and closing with a heart sticker? the next day you had time to pass out all the cards and would keep an eye out to see if your crush had opened yours yet- just to see his reaction.
now those were the days!
high school valentines days weren't so bad either. you know- the ones with the guy that you probably dated a month or two before the dance?
i got a greaaat mix tape in my locker on that one. heart artwork and lucky boys confusion!
(no wonder my mom is still convinced hes the one im going to marry) you cant go wrong with some emo mix-tape in high school. that was your life.
then you probably had a few downers in there. the "im dating someone else while im dating you" card pulled, so you didn't get to "celebrate" that one.
or that upgrade from the Culvers date a few years later- but he forgot the flowers.
i actually cannot think of one guy that i have dated, let alone other people, who owned up to a girls valentines days expectations.
im sure to guys- this is the biggest joke holiday. think about it.. you have to give something. not to mention you will probably be showing your face at a godiva shop or victorias secret at some point in your life. (not the ideal i would assume)
but here's the thing men- no matter what you think on valentines day...your girl is expecting it to be awesome, romantic, thoughtful sexy, fun, and just about anything else that you don't do on a day-to-day basis.
oh yeah boys- there's an actual rule to this thing too. you cannot forget at least one of the following: chocolates, box of chocolates, flowers, jewelry diamonds, a meal, lingerie, a steamy night in bed, dessert, drinks, a bottle of something, a card, shoes- who knows what else!
im sure its familiar- which is why valentines day basically has a make it or break it policy attached to your date. (maybe why people even break up before or after it?)
again- worst holiday everrrr
as a girl who has had some pretty sub-par valentines days...
guys, common- put some effort into it. im going to give a tip for all you guys out there wondering what to do on valentines day so you don't wind up wondering why the hell she questions you the next day...
do something personal. something unique to the two of you. its really not that hard. make it romantic is that's what shes going for. fun if shes more of the adventurous type, spontaneous, clever. hell, if she doesn't want to do anything just sit and watch a movie with her- but at least try!
(iff you cant do that..you may want to rethink before next thursday...)
but again- most guys suck at this holiday.
its not that girls expectations are too high on this holiday- all we want is our man to show us that were worth the words that hallmark cards and sweethearts put out there. but really, every girl has their own idea of what their ideal valentines day would be like. why not let the guys in on it?
yes- we generally would like to think that guys have the potential to pull a Cruel Intentions and stand at the top of an escalator waiting to say they're in love with you- or that you will open the door and a trail of roses will lead to the bed- i mean, even walking downstairs in the morning, or hearing the knock at the door and BOOM- flowers. or balloons! even a card that tells you how great you are- or who knows, just something to make us actually feel like this holiday is not completely full of shit.
if you believe the love.fm radio stat that "if you haven't been dating for 2 months, you cant celebrate valentines day"...then you're screwed.
because the world has made valentines day to be the most exclusive day out there- most people are directly wired to think "i cant spend time with someone on this day because i don't want a relationship." fair enough...but wrong. (let me give you another tip guys...don't assume that every girl wants that)
that's why us single ladies have problems having a good time on valentines day- no guy wants to spend this day with you because they're going to think you want more.
so wrong.
i want to believe that you can "celebrate" valentines day with a no-stings-attached policy. would other people think that? likely not, but that seems to just be the way the world works these days.
yeah, i don't want to be alone on valentines day- no one really does...
but im not going to be one of those girls who sits at home crying over a bottle of wine and a half eaten box of chocolates wondering why your alone, let alone the group of friends who wind up together talking about why they hate valentines day.
not this year. as a frequent member of the lonely hearts club- im going to take valentines day as any other holiday...
another reason to spend time with the people you care about. relationship or not.
lets not forget that this is a racist-free month here! all the single ladies and all the single men should find something to do!
i guess i'll take my doc's advice and find someone to buy me dinner...
but then again- id rather find someone to watch Sixteen Candles with over a bottle of wine...each.
oh- and the fact that its valentines day...well, that's just makes it even more acceptable to visit victorias secret for your no-strings-attached night.
couples obsession with this holiday...well yeah, we get it- you're in love.
but lets not rub it into the faces of all the single people who really- only wanted to have a good thursday night like you did. worry free with the feeling that just because you're not dating anyone- those little heart shaped candies tasted just as great and the sex was just as good. that there was no reason to feel terrible because your boyfriend dumped you the week before, or that your dad is your valentines date. and that hey, i can do just as good as you couples.
lets give a little power back to those single people who have to deal with couples talking about their valentines day night the next day.
no matter what, you should want to celebrate this holiday.
why?
valentines day is a day where you choose to show someone that, relationship or not, you care for them enough to not let them be completely alone, even for one night.
so how do you choose to celebrate this year?
that's it for today.
