9/24: the inbetween

today is a monday.

there is nothing worse than a monday morning. to me, its basically as if everything ive either accomplished, regretted, messed up, had to deal with, who ive met, been with, and what i needed to have done over the weekend- is just over with...because when monday morning hits, BOOM- your warped into the reality that is work.

for the last 2.5 months i have walked into work and sat in a secluded cube. honestly- i got to say, there is nothing worse than starting off after college and having all you wanted be restricted to everything you didn't want. living with your parents, having everyone you've grown to love from school gone, and of course sitting in a cube working sales (yes, exactly what i didn't want).

i listen to everyone here in their 30s talk about their 30s lifestyle and it makes me wonder- is this really it? go to work, come home, do it again and maybe talk about what was on TV last night? fuck, i need a little more excitement in life than that. i guess there are those life milestones (living on your own, making your own money, getting married, having kids, retirement all that..) but what about the inbetween of those milestones?

it's something you don't think about.

as of today i realize- the inbetween is full of some unknown. i can think about all those regrets, questions, accomplishments, fuck-ups, moments of indecision, people ive met, and everything else about my weekends and still i cannot comprehend what it is to be in the inbetween.

the inbetween. its something you just come to terms with. its being stuck, but with some form of movement.

-im not even saying its being stuck in a bad way, its just trying to figure out what you have been given, what you have right now, and what your going to do with it. that's exciting! its exciting in the way that you really do never know where your going to end up. even though you have that- there is so much unknown that its scary.

today, no matter where im stuck- its something that i have to do to move from one inbetween to the next.

its one of those instances where everyday we put up with the realities that life throws our way, but we deal. deal and move on. its a hard thing to accomplish and accept, but that's where you really do figure things out. its where your milestones are achieved.

and if its one thing that i learned today; move slowly and with great intent if you feel strongly about something. and im pretty confident that my inbetween will be worth something. my inbetween is the thrill of the unknown.

as for today, that is it.