11/8: the great escape

i would like to tell you that at some moment in your life you will have at least one epiphany.

im not religious at all, really- so nothing i say is going to have any correlation with some divine being like they say when epiphanies happen. no- they happen for you- for yourself, by yourself.

with that aside, i do believe that an epiphany is something divine in itself...

its that moment where you finally, after all this time have figured something out.

you have finally found the meaning of something, a path to find that something, or have finally figured out that theres more you can do...

that everything right now...is just not "it"

its a break-through, a realization, an "ah ha" moment, a solution, an innovative idea, a deeper acknowledgment, a discovery, an adventure, a light-bulb that goes off in your head, a "click"

-something, anything that makes you take that one giant leap somewhere, anywhere- suddenly.

it's brought about by something simple or timely, through an occurrence or an experience.
but whatever it is...it brings out some sort of courage, understanding, or great adventure that you never thought you were capable of.

i have had two true epiphanies so far.

my first- was the day after i got back from spain the summer before my junior year in college.

i had spent two weeks visiting family i had never met, and seeing places i had never heard of. places where running with bulls was just as common as being covered in wine. i had no expectations for the trip other than to live vicariously through the movie "sisterhood of the traveling pants"...but without the sister, and without the pants.

it was one of those trips where not going with the flow would have landed me out on the other side of the window, looking in on all the fun.

jumping off cliffs, watching my step brother tackle a bush, passing a fat one around a pool while attempting to throw peanuts in a floating can, being stuck in the trunk of a clown car, the world cup and street riots with waterfalls, long nights, fireworks, people, places, and family- i never looked in on the fun.

i got back- and out of no where- my epiphany.

....i needed to go back. 

right then and there, i didn't care what any one was going to tell me, i didn't know how it was going to happen, where the money was going to come from, if id be alone- but i was going to go back. i needed to. it was something i needed to do for myself. if i didn't, i would regret it forever.

at that moment i had realized that the experience i had just had didn't have to be it. it didn't have to end. it was only just the beginning...

within 4 months of Spain i was back...only in the Netherlands. (i told you, i was going to find a way)

my first epiphany allowed me to take one giant leap into an unknown world with courage i never thought i had. 

so what got me on the topic of epiphanies you ask?

well...one of my best friends told me today she had an epiphany. i knew it was a true epiphany because it reminded me of mine, only a different situation. i asked her what it was...

"well basically, it was: why the fuck am i here. i could be anywhere in the entire world. i could be doing anything. i could be swimming in the ocean right now. or skiing or teaching or something, whatever. why am i trying to start a career? it's not going to happen right now. i honestly think i am better off working in a restaurant in some place where i am really happy and experiencing life, than i am sitting at a computer all day for free and starting a "career." i can come back to my career whenever. i will probably have way better chances if i came back to it rejuvenated rather than plug along with no direction like i'm doing."

and there it was. the epiphany.

the break-through, the light-bulb- the moment when you realize that life is what you make it and there so much more that you can do for yourself. there is a solution. there is a way.

....its the beginning. the start of an adventure. the great escape.

and she found it.

i guess every one's epiphanies are different. maybe they're like snowflakes? the same idea, but no two are alike. nothing short of remarkable to say the least!

if one moment can be the beginning to something new, something huge- life altering and brilliant, wouldn't you say its a divine? maybe.

so here's my questions to you...

if perceptions lead to behaviors, can our epiphanies bring adventure into our lives?

absolutely. i know for a fact that we can make the choice to do anything we want.

to leave the nest, to love, to grow up, to be with the person you want to be with, to travel, exercises, stay in bed, get the job, cut your hair, move to california whatever- we can actually make that choice come alive. that one little epiphany- its sustainable, and ever-deepening.

i realized from my second epiphany i decided i wanted to bring love alive, not simply as a mysterious experience beyond my control but as a living principle.

i figure every ones lives are so different and complex that maybe an epiphany hasn't yet struck- or maybe it has and you can relate to this in some way? remember...snowflakes.

i guess no matter what, if you have or have not had an epiphany- they happen. and when they do, you act upon it.

its a beginning. its the great escape. and its not just "it."