the day after thanksgiving and i am stuck at the office.
this would have been the day to rearrange my cube, de-clutter. but i actually did that 2 weeks ago when i probably should have been working
i woke up this morning knowing how today was going to go...
watching the clock inch minute by minute until our early dismissal a 1. knowing the only emails i'll end up getting are the automated work emails and the ones from groupon telling me there's a sweet deal somewhere. walking laps around the kitchen...talking with the few souls who didn't schedule off the day after thanksgiving quick enough. oh man, web surfing for 2 hours and realizing that you already read through all your "go-to" websites.. (shit, wheres that netflix password)
i've been trying to take my mind off some things but its been really hard this past week
...like trying to wipe things from your mind, but finding yourself inadvertently hit with the news of where you stand now- which becomes a whole lot more painful that you pictured it. it swells your head with mini flashbacks. it swells your heart even more with sadness.
great, stuck with a head full of thoughts sitting at my office..
nothing sounded worse than rushing to get to work with your mind to contemplate for 5 hours
overnight the snow had fallen enough to cover the cars with white tops. the streets were empty enough that the roads still carried the snow in the tire tracks. it was still dark out when my morning began
i watched the sky get lighter...and i kept thinking...
alright, i need to stop... now.
i had 2 wild animals i call "the dogs" eagerly waiting for their morning park time. they had watched me stare out the window and think long enough! i could tell they were ready to terrorize that snow by running in circles till the ground shown.
i knew i had past the point of making the early bus to get to work by 8. i also knew that i really should have rushed to get things done quicker since i now sit right in front of our region leader... whatever, no rush to get to my groupon emails.
the clock told me i had 15 minutes to walk the dogs and leave for the bus. but i thought about it for a split second and said- "no, i'm just going to enjoy my morning."
the dogs cheered me on
outside the world was quiet and cold. the houses still looked dark- people asleep from their thanksgiving festivities. the dog park that was usually full with the morning commuters was still and untouched.
i stood at the top of the park hill watching the dogs play together... they were so fun to watch. running in circles one chasing the other until the other started chasing the one.
i stood there and started thinking again...
maybe she was just visiting for the day. maybe its not really like that. maybe..maybe..maybe
my head ran in just as many circles as the dogs before i wanted to cry for thinking about it...
i noticed the sun had just started to peak out above the trees. i tried to redirect my attention. the world began to slow again. as i stood there and watched the sunrise i noticed the snow...
falling, but slowly. light enough to float through the air. to each their own. the kind of snow that glitters when you walk past it. the sun and sky became a deep orange that glittered as the snow fell past it. above, the rays gave the glitter its own huge. millions of little snowflakes floating, falling ever so slowly to the ground.
it was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen.
for a few minutes the thinking stopped..and i was just in the moment. everything felt calm. everything in slow motion.
a loud "woof" brought me back...its time to go.
i thought about that moment when i got into work as the world started to wake up from its dream. how desperately i wanted to be like those snowflakes, floating through the air. how much i wanted that moment to last through the day...
how if every day could move in slow motion.
but today, this is it.
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