10/22: never know

senior year of high school we were allowed to have a favorite quote at the bottom of our picture in the yearbook.

it's great to look back at them and see how immature we all were back then with our inside party jokes, takes on "i'd tap that" or see how much influence Tupac still had on half our class.

at the time, i remember getting that stupid note card and wondering what the hell id write down. would i pick something someone else already chose? or would i pick something i'd look back on in 10 years and say, wow- high school sucked.

for my yearbook quote i literally just wrote down the title to one of my favorite songs at the time. so under my senior year picture, class of 2008- there i am, with the quote "Never Know" taken from the song by Jack Johnson. (so cool, i know)

i never really told anyone my reasoning behind that quote. i guess at the time all i wanted to do was get out of that place so i didnt tell anyone...

i kept to myself for a good amount of those 4 years. i entered the worlds most cliquey high school as an outsider. all the "feeder" middle school kids were not from my junior high district and all of my best friends went to another high school. if you knew who i was...it was probably because i sat behind you in class. which by then- we would have become friends on one level or another.

truth be told...there is a reason why i picked "never know" as my senior year quote.

since cross-country was half my life throughout high school, i would be lying to you if i said that it didn't have any influence on the person i am today. it was a good time, and i learned a lot

beside the fact that i could run a 19:00 three mile and fake a stomach cramp, i learned how to balance school, work, sports, and horses in one day and still have time for myself.

our coach would spend at least an hour after practice going over stats, improvements, meets, and to our dismay was able to squeeze a "quote of the day" plus logic, before it hit 7:00p. we'd sit around and stare at each other half the time wondering if he was ever going to stop talking so we could go home.

after an 8 mile run when all the other sports teams left the last thing we wanted to do was sit and listen to our coach pour more useless crap into our brains while dinner at home was getting cold and we had piles of homework to get done. "and just remember before you leave...(7:05)...every great achievement is the result of a heart on fire....now get out of here" (thank god)

as much as i hated the man, he did have one good "quote of the day." it was the same quote he used every friday before a meet for all 4 years of high school," and it was the only quote i still love today...

"expect nothing, be prepared for anything"

the only reason i didn't want to use this quote in the yearbook was because i didn't want to quote the man who told me to take a hike for wanting to take ACT prep classes instead of training for indoor track.

so instead i picked my own version of this quote, which ended up being "never know" (thank you Jack Johnson)

1 year (20 cross country meets, 30 track meets, and all of summer running) for four years has taught me to "expect nothing, be prepared for anything"

no surprise- it's still stuck to me.

back then it only referred to race day where 3 miles later you would know you took a chance to reach your goal time or you were going to be stuck running the "big hill" at KLM come tuesday's practice.

now- its just a nice quote to fall back on for all the chances you take that are associated with "unknowns"

there are always going to be those times where you just don't know what will happen next. something could be so far out of your control that the outcome could be anything. or maybe everything is in your control, but your next move is some undistinguished blip on your radar

you don't know. actually- you never will know.

if you took a chance, you should accept that anything could happen.

taking chances is like voluntarily playing a game of russian roulette- you know the gun is loaded and you still put it up to your head and hope you make it out alive. you put it there because your ready to take the chance.

if you pull the trigger and live to see the next day, i'd say it was one hell of a game.

although you don't have a gun to your head when you finally take that chance on someone or something, anything could happen. its just in your best interest to not expect something that's out of your control.

in high school i never accepted that my last race time was my best time. i knew i could do better- so come race day i'd see if the chance i took worked. during the week it was hell, but by the time the gun went off on saturday morning- i had 3 miles to make it happen. if it didn't- at least i tried.

today is the same thing. you cant just accept something because someone told you that's what you deserve. you cant expect that past outcomes will repeat themselves. and of course, you cant hold back from taking a chance because you're afraid of what will follow

you wont know what will happen. so whats stopping you?

looking back at that quote yesterday- i think i should have probably picked something cute and innocent for my yearbook quote. keep the same Jack Johnson motif..."Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"??? (if i lived by that i would have owwwned that "big hill" at KLM)

take a chance, expect nothing- but be prepared for anything. that's it.