10/29: inbox (1)

back in the day- before emails, cell phones, text messages, voice mail- there were letters. (what, real letters?)

YES! actual letters where the other half of the conversation was postponed for days, maybe even weeks until the other person replied.

i read the most wonderful letter once. it was by John Steinbeck in 1958 to his son at boarding school- who believed he fell in love.

(if you don't know him- hes the guy who wrote East of Eden and Of Mice and Men- that guy).

seriously if you haven't read this before- read through his letter first before you read anything else- it is wonderful...

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,
Fa

i never liked the idea of writing a letter until i read this.

too me- it was odd because it was something no one did anymore. something that your grandparents did when they were off fighting world wars or separated by an ocean. we live in a world were instantaneous conversations are allowed to happen, so what would be the point of waiting a week to get a reply?

well, my sister told me something a few weeks ago that made me realize a letter could be useful. 

"you cant comprehend something over the phone"

sure you could...but at that moment i was on the verge of a very non-practical, throw yourself in front of a bus- tell all, awkward yet overwhelming phone conversation...and to be completely honest- i couldn't even comprehend myself saying it either. 

"just send an email"

(okay, okay- letters like Steinbeck's are now in emails and wayyy less formal- whatever, its the 21st century)

so i did it.

my letter- sent...and awaiting a reply.

i love Steinbeck's letter because its written from what he knows to be true. which is the same reason i wrote mine.

the thing is- we never find out what happened with Thom, or what he did after he got this letter. (probably the greatest letter ever written)  if Steinbeck said this over the phone- Thom would have been like "okay dad- i don't understand" or have asked 1000 questions with "what if" and "why."

letters are nice because they allow you to tell what you know, and give you time to comprehend it...if and only if you are one to open up for something un-comprehendable.

i don't really know what will come of my letter. its not like today where you send a text message and get a "read" or a check mark next to the name if the person has opened it. or a voicemail saying "got your message-call me back." it could have been very nicely placed in the "deleted items" section of windows outlook. who knows.

Steinbeck's words of wisdom are so optimistic and timeless. there's nothing short of the absolute truth in what he says.

i wonder if letters written in 2012 could have any of the same significance they did back in 1958? if people are still able to comprehend them in the same way?

its possible?

i guess if you don't get a response to your letter then your no Steinbeck.

if the world still values your efforts of truth and optimism then a letter will do some good (no response? oh well...)

phones, text messages, all that- if you want someone to see exactly what you want them to see- well write a letter for them to comprehend it (also if your feeling ballsy)

as the man himself says- "don’t worry about losing. if it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. nothing good gets away"

that's it.